Waymaker: How God Turned My Insecurities into a Ministry

During a recent church service, as the praise team sang “Waymaker”, I found myself overcome with emotion. The lyrics stirred a flood of memories, taking me back to July 2023, when I had the opportunity to go on my first official international mission trip to Costa Rica. That trip wasn’t just a milestone; it was the fulfillment of a prayer that had been years in the making, a prayer born out of some of the most challenging seasons of my life.

A Journey of Waiting

When I started Bible college in 2016, I knew that part of the program included an international mission trip for second-year students. I remember hearing stories from upperclassmen who returned from destinations like Africa, Asia, and Europe, and I was so inspired. From the start, I couldn’t wait for my turn.

But my journey wasn’t as straightforward as others. I was a part-time student, working overtime to pay for my semesters out of pocket. What would typically take two years stretched into four for me. The extended wait only deepened my anticipation, and by my final semester in 2020, the path was clear—I was finally going on my mission trip. When my director announced that we would be traveling to South Africa, my heart leapt.

South Africa had always held a special place in my heart because of my grandmother, the Reverend Doris Fields Andrews. A true woman of God, my grandmother was bold, charismatic, and had a style all her own. She traveled domestically and internationally to preach, and South Africa was one of the places where she ministered. As a child, there is no one I loved more than my grandmother, and I listened wide-eyed to her stories about the people she met, the way they embraced her, and how God moved through her.

I had dreamed of following in her footsteps—of walking on the same soil where she once stood, sharing the gospel as she had. The thought of my long journey through Bible college culminating in South Africa felt like a full-circle moment.

But just weeks before our scheduled departure, the world shut down. The COVID-19 pandemic canceled everything, including my long-awaited trip. After four years of waiting, I was crushed.

A Season of Disappointment

That season was hard for so many reasons. Just a few months before, I had gone through a deeply painful breakup, the kind that shakes your confidence and your sense of purpose. On top of that, everything I thought I was working toward—my mission trip, my ministry plans—felt like it was dissolving right before my eyes.

When I initially tried to process my loss, I did so the way I had always dealt with loss—by sucking it up and moving on. The problem with suppressing grief is that it robs God of the opportunity to heal your heart, and it denies you the chance to feel safe enough in your relationship with Him to be honest about your disappointment. I was too afraid to tell God that I didn’t understand why He would allow so much loss to hit me at once. I was too busy pasting on a smile to admit that I was heartbroken over losing both my relationship and the mission trip. Deep down, I couldn’t trust that something better—or anything at all—was waiting for me to look forward to. But, as they often say in my home church: BUT God!

Even when I couldn’t see it, God was already working to restore what I thought I had lost. That year, I met the man who would become my husband, a love that was better and more lasting than anything I could have imagined. And while my dream of going to South Africa didn’t come to pass through the mission trip, God had something else in store for me—a mission trip to San José, Costa Rica that would change my life in ways I never expected.

Costa Rica: The Mission That Found Me

When the opportunity to go to Costa Rica arose in 2023, it felt like God was answering the prayer I thought had gone unheard. Though it wasn’t South Africa, I knew this was where God wanted me to be.

Before the trip, I was asked to join the praise team that would minister through music. While I’ve always loved worship and come from a family of incredibly gifted singers, I had battled deep insecurity about my voice. I had sung my entire life—on stages big and small, captivating audiences even as a child. Yet comparison kept me shrinking, convincing me that I wasn’t good enough to sing solo, let alone lead.

Then, during rehearsal, it was decided that I would lead Waymaker, the song we would use to open our ministry nights. Fear crept in, and I doubted whether I could do it. But God, once again, had bigger plans for me.

A Voice Unleashed

Our first night in Costa Rica I was scheduled to be the first to preach and also lead worship. As I stood on stage and sang Waymaker, something broke in me. The very insecurities that had held me captive for so long began to fade. With every note, I felt God affirming my voice—not just as a singer, but as a vessel for His glory.

As the week went on, I became the lead singer for our team’s ministry efforts, performing in communities across Costa Rica. One of the most incredible experiences was singing in Spanish, a challenge that felt impossible at first but quickly became natural. I watched as God used my voice to touch hearts, breaking language barriers and building connections through worship.

One moment in particular stands out. A local pastor introduced me to his mother, a woman who had heard about me and wanted to experience my singing firsthand. She made it a point to attend the service where I was ministering that evening, and her presence reminded me of the power of obedience. God was using what I thought was small—my voice—to make an impact I couldn’t have imagined.

The Song That Became My Anthem

By the end of the trip, Waymaker had become more than just a song. It was my anthem. Each time I sang it, the lyrics declared the truth of who God is: “Waymaker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness, my God, that is who You are.”

I realized that God had indeed made a way—not just for me to go on this mission trip, but to walk into a new season of confidence and purpose. What I thought I had lost, He had restored.

While I didn’t go to South Africa like I’d originally hoped, I still walked in my grandmother’s footsteps. Just like her, I had the opportunity to bring the gospel to people in another part of the world, using my voice to glorify Him.

A Final Reflection

Looking back, I can see that God’s timing and plans are always perfect. Though my journey didn’t unfold the way I had imagined, He used every detour and disappointment to prepare me for what was ahead. He took my insecurities and turned them into a ministry.

If you’re in a season of waiting or wrestling with doubt, I want to encourage you: God is still working. He is the ultimate Waymaker, and He will make a way for you to step into the fullness of His purpose for your life.

Trust Him, even when the path doesn’t make sense. He can take what feels broken and restore it all.